by r w bucknell
and she seemed like such a nice girl Picture mp3 (924K)

in her heart she was always such a good girl
in her heart of hearts
as long as she kept it within its shell
and forgot and kept it out
and stopped things reaching that perfect snow that dwelt within then she was a GOOD GIRL.

She could do things others couldn't
because she knew
she knew she knew
she was a good girl
above and beyond the rest of the world that was how she explained it away
and kept it down
kept the pretty little smile upon her face and the nice little flowery dress she always seemed to wear to garden parties in the summer
and anyway it was healthy to have obsessions
her teacher had told her so
Tom's Cow Picture mp3 (387K)

B.A.S. stands for The Bovine Appreciation Society
Cow Park
B.A.S. members only
Honk if you love cows

My, tom really loves that cow of his

She Came to Me Picture mp3 (3.1M)

She came to me too that night

She came with a smile and with a nod

She knew what she wanted

But what did I want

(what have I ever wanted)

She kissed me as if it was real

With those lips

And with those smiles

Her eyes were open

Her body mine

(oh) she came to me
She came to me


With a smile that was not hers

There was no snow in that soul

- at least none I felt

- none that walked my street

It wasn't only smiling

And kissing and fumbling

And even a little trembling

It was the day that we are born

That strangers overheard in the night remember

It was my day
My night

Her her what?

An empty moan
A spurious sigh

She couldn't look

Couldn't even lick

She was mine that night wholly mine

As I held her close within my arms

And as I looked to see who she was

And as I looked to see where she was

I wondered

What it was she chose in me

And where
And who

She was coming from

That knock knock knocking on my door at 2 am

She came with a smile so sweet

(oh) I think she knew what she wanted

And I knew
I never knew
I'll never know

I said come in

She said what for

And I
And I

I only smiled

I could not reply

I really wondered why I was asleep you see
I hope

When that knock woke me up

What does a girl want with me at 2 am

(what does anyone ever want with me?)

But in she came with a pert little grace

And oh such a very pretty smile upon her cute little face

I knew then that I was falling

Falling into that forbidden state of grace

But I never knew

I never even guessed

That it could be my last and first

Taste of that flesh they call divine

But as she left me and as I said
Goodbye one last time I saw
That there was no smile on her
Face a hollow face filled with
Such beauty such deep beauty
And despair

And as she said
I'll never live again
No i'll never sin again

Venus Picture

Party Here

Well Venus may have left your party
But she never came to mine

Mr Brown Picture mp3 (216K)

I first met Mr.Brown in the park
I know he doesn't like me calling him Mr.Brown
But Alf sounds
Well, you know
Sort of silly
And with him being so much older and all
It just doesn't seem right me calling him Alfie
And not Mr.Brown

He bought me a cup of tea
And a slice of chocolate cake
Real chocolate
You know
Rich, sweet, wet and real naughty
He is really sweet Mr.Brown
I like Mr.Brown
I don't know
He's much older than me
And he knows so much
He's got so much experience
And a car and a house
He's not so handsome I know
He buys me sweets
He knows the ones I like does Mr.Brown
We always have a giggle
And a bit of fun
As he calls it
He likes his fun does Mr.Brown
He can be naughty too
But it's kind of nice
Not always though
And he says it's normal
And I don't know
He ought to know he's so much older
And I can't ask mum
It don't feel right asking mum about that
And Mr.Brown says I shouldn't and he's always right
I hope he's right
It does feel kind of
I don't know

Tissue Paper Picture mp3 (671K)

She left a fifty euro note by the mirror,
on the way out of his room
He left fifty pounds on the table as he went out.

He scrunched up the tissue paper
Wiped his fingers
Dropped it behind the bed

And then went to sleep
Frustrated but content.

After it slipped off and he'd tied a knot in it
And dropped it behind the bed

He went to sleep
Content but guilty

Little girl lost Picture mp3 (2.2M) grunting (1.7M) mpeg (8.3M)

He was no ordinary man was Donovon Branaghan
as he picked his way through the woods and the hay
little girl lost little girl lost
with that great big grin upon his tiny face

he kept a nice house but a little house but very nice for a while with his wife unmarried sisters two and three little girls a garden large - cucumbers oranges tomatoes and peas

His was not the life you'd lead alone down there in your dirt and in your grime. You'd not be welcome at his door. No never, not even were you to be shaved and washed, clean besuited and bearing of gifts

Your knock would not be welcome on that green door up the path, between the hollyhocks and rambling roses.
You'd not find yourself at that table with those crumpets and the scones and the freshly baked cakes

FOR HE IS NO ORDINARY MAN OUR DONOVON with his house and his love and his life you'd not want to see what he'd seen be where he'd been or do what he'd done

Just returning now and humming little girl lost little girl lost at whatever the cost to me little girl lost little girl lost at whatever the cost to me

Piglet is Dead Picture mp3 (322K)

Fred's Butcher shop

Special offer - pork

European Brown Bear
Do not feed

Long live pooh bear

The virgin who weeped Picture mp3 (2.4M) grunting (2.2M)

You don't want to dance alone in your room
I said no you don't want to dance alone in your room I said to the virgin who smiled for you don't know who will see you there as you stand alone and sway slowly within it starts to throb you start to tremble you start to move you start to jump the music bites and takes you there and then you're gone

How can you know what you do and what others think you do as your soul surrenders to the tune alone up there in your place in the sky you dance alone and look to the moon and you know what it is that takes you there as you stand alone and dance one arm up one arm down away away away you go wildly now wild by night

Alone alone alone you dance to the song that has no name the sacrifice you make to keep it all within as you dance to his tune again

But it was not ever so I said to the virgin who weeped it was not ever so remember I said to the virgin who weeped you danced with him too once until you took what was his and gave it all away yes gave it away yes you took it yes you gave it and what can you do now up there what indeed

But dance and dance and dance but he'll never come back from there no he'll never come back from where no he'll never come back to you for it was you it was you it was you and

You know that there is nothing that you can do as you dance alone in the sky my dear

Just think of this just think of this and w e e p

As she cried to herself and danced and danced and danced

Ducks Picture mp3 (487K)

He lay decoratively on the bed
They were naked, glowing, relaxed,
Energy spent: content, frustrated, joyous,

So, she asked, what are you doing on the other nights? I suppose you're sleeping with other girls?

No, he answered, cats mainly, but also dogs and goats, chickens and even the odd duck.
fucked up Picture mp3 (1.2M)

I am not who you want me to be

You are not who you want me to be

She is not who you want me to be

He is not who you want me to be

We are not who you want me to be

But that is only the question

I am who I am because of what?


Not because of them

It is birth that gave me

And years of fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up

fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up fucked up


So you see what

Or maybe even how I be

As I stroll down to meet you

Down with the smile

And the silly gait

Do not expect a mirror from me

I am not your dad

Your lover not your friend

I can serve you

Will serve you

But can you serve me
(can anyone serve me the way I want)

Don't even try

Don't even think

Never imagine

For you are not the ONE

But strip go on have a fuck

The day is gone

The Man Picture

I met the man today

Which man?

The man who fucked me

That's nice

Yes it was nice

Hmmmm, tell me more

I never knew that anal sex could give me so much pleasure

(she replied to her granddaughter)

Urbane Cruelty Picture mp3 (1.5M)

Block upon block

Street after street

Grey under mud

Coughing and spewing

Grey dirt descends

Flat upon flat

Tv upon itself

Each to work his body takes

Bewaring it all beside the desk

Leaching blood

For mortgage food and




Beneath this grime

This stomach

This pulsing ulcer

In his village he was a freak

They knew where to look when benny's cow died

Tell tale scratches and beneath it all matters

Life seemed clearer then

What was wrong was wrong was wrong


In this city nobody looked

But still the signs went up

Lost: spot, tiggles, fido and all

€100 reward

And he cried out loud each night

Alone up there

Eighth floor, third on the right

Sofa, chair table, television, bed

Kitchen: block, knife, skewer and all

Billy and Bonny's Doughnut Shop Picture mp3 (2.5M)

Billy and Bonny's Doughnut Shop

One has a hole the other gets stuffed

Billy and Bonny make the best doughnuts
Hello i'm Billy
Hello i'm Bonny
And this is our shop

Come on in

Jam doughnuts
Cream doughnuts
Doughnuts with holes in them
We do 'em all

My what good doughnuts
Yes aren't they excellent
I'll have another

Billy and Bonny were at high school together. Billy was the fattest guy at school. Always eating and thinking about food. For his fifth grade paper "what idid in the vacation" he described at length the terrible day when his mother forgot to buy him his doughnuts - AND HOW HE MADE HER SUFFER.

Bonny was the ugliest, most boring girl in school who had no friends. She spent all her time with her mother. Now Bonny's mother - Mrs.Bonny loved doughnuts and spent all her time making them - so Bonny helped her.

Now when Bonny was fifteen or sixteen hormones really started to kick in and SHE REALLY REALLY WANTED A GUY. The problem was that the guys at school would do her and leave her which she felt wasn't so much fun (and never quite lasted long enough). Then she saw Billy - who was far too busy eating or thinking about food to have friends. She thought for a bit and then BROUGHT HIM A DOUGHNUT.

Billy too had hormones - even if they played second fiddle to his stomach.

But from that moment on they both got what they wanted. Even if Bonny would have preferred someone a bit more passionate and with less taste for a post-coital doughnut.

Together they employed Mrs.Bonny - who everyone agreed made the best doughnut in town and as they say -


Free Picture grunting (611K) mpeg (3.6M)

Free free freedom is the price I pay
Free free freedom is the price I pay
Free free freedom is the price I pay
Free free freedom is the price I pay
Free free freedom is the price I pay
Free free freedom is the price I pay
Free free freedom is the price I pay
Free free freedom is the price I pay

Free free free as a bird

Free free free I want to be free free free

Oh I want to be free free free

Just leave me
Just leave me


Dorothea Picture mp3 (488K)

Would you like another drinkie sweetheart?

Er, erm, well all right then

He wanted to know how long i'd been a friend of Dorothea's,
Not that long, actually, and I wasn't sure how much I liked her. I was certainly having difficulty walking and sitting but of course I had to lie, and believe you me, it didn't get any easier or more comfortable.

Waiting Picture

Sitting by that 'phone

Waiting for that call

The coast is clear now dear it must be clear by now

Your boyfriends going

And then we're free

Free to leave but what we have at the door of the


As we enter there and grope

And grope in the darkness that is our confusion

Search with that most effervescent of pleasures for that that plays our tune

To see what we can do

And to dream of what we could do

I sit and I wait for that call

"Come on over and have a talk...."

It's been three days now

But he's leaving soon

So soon

And then I can climb in and take what's his

(but it isn't, it's hers', always hers')

But as I sit and as I wait

I d r e a m

I think of things I must not say

But worse

Far worse

I think of things I must not do

My demon is restless now

He wants his fill

He is telling me to do what I must not

Like eve before her fall

I must taste

I must chew

I must swallow


So go on my dear

Go on

Sit down

You don't even need to look up my number any more

I know

Just summon me

And try to remember

Oh please try to remember

That I am but the messenger

The empty container of anther's lust

Again again

I'll go down with sin

Because I feel the calling

The crawling

So please my dear just call me

(i said as I picked up the 'phone again, again I heard it ringing in that empty room across the street. I lied, it's been three months now, three long, lovely months)

Rachel Picture mp3 (171K)

Rachel had to stop using Benny's unisex hair salon after Benny insisted on lending her one Aleister Crowley too many

Cosmopolitan Cover Girl Picture mp3 (1.4M)

August 2000 Cosmopolitan Cover Girl: Shropshire Lass - Shirley

Cherlene was a little girl from Bridgenorth
She grew up pretty, real pretty
All she ever wanted, all she ever wished for was to be pretty
She was pretty, always pretty
Shropshire was no place for a REAL PRETTY GIRL

She thought

She wanted the bright lights,
She wanted the fame
She wanted the attention she was due
She believed
She went to Blackpool

She was young
She was pretty
She was no-one
She was nowhere

She worked in a bar - her bum got pinched
She got a boyfriend
Sam was mean

Cherlene ran away to London
- and models one via a lost story

August 200: her dream comes true
Now they would see how pretty she was
Blokes would dribble over her picture
She knew now that she was pretty
Real pretty
Girls would look at her photo and wish that they were so pretty
So very pretty
She didn't care
She never thought
That someone would cut her up and stick her on paper with other cut up pics
And write a story about her
But why should she?
Why should he?

Rose Leaf Picture

Une feuille du rose

Une boule du neige

Mr.Max Ernst a friend of Dorothea's

Tahiti Picture mp3 (1.5M)

I wish that I was born on Tahiti
I imagine there would be endless sun and warmth
Lovely starlit nights
Bare breasted Polynesian ladies stepping out of Gaugin to garland me with flowers

Bare breasted

Or is that Hawaii?

I wish that I had been born on Tahiti
Never been cold or hungry or lost
Always eating yam and spicy fruits
Dancing to the moonlight
On green luscious land
Pearl blue sea
Fishes and birds and insects and colours and life and love and coconuts

I wish that I was born on Tahiti

How easy life could be
Without the snow
The hunger the cold the clothes
The clothes the clothes

Cos I live on the North Pole in an igloo
And it isn't very nice
The sea is blue, they tell me, beneath the ice,
And the girls are really very pretty,
They tell me
Beneath their furs.
I wish that I had died on Tahiti
With the moon, sixpence and leprosy
Or a yacht, tuberculosis, a black arrow and a cigarette

© r w bucknell, 2003, all rights reserved.